2 Idiots Debate: Veronica Mars and Kickstarter

Did you guys hear that there’s going to be a Veronica Mars movie? Because fans funded it on Kickstarter?

You did? Not news?

OK, well did you hear that two aging blog proprietors got all worked up about it and had an e-mail debate?

I THOUGHT NOT.

2 Idiots Debate: The End of the World as We Know It?

What happens when David Simon Cowell and I emerged from our recent hibernation to discuss the lazy abomination that is Grantland’s obituary for the very much alive David Bowie?

Some misunderstandings!

Some fighting!

Some laffs!

Some navel-gazing!

One person who adores David Bowie and one person who doesn’t really have a dog in that race!

We use the word “inarguable” a surprisingly high number of times, given that we are in the midst of an argument!

And David Simon Cowell writes more words for this blog than he has in the last year combined! Who can fucking resist that?

The 2013 Oscars Live Blog

As our readers know all too well, we can disappear without a trace like white bin Ladens. But if there’s anything sure to bring P.C.H.A. back to life, it’s the Oscars. The self-importance, the musical numbers, the dresses… how can we resist? So, live(ish), from two different continents, here’s the chat you’ve all been waiting for. Ladies and gentlemen, your hosts, David Simon Cowell and The Dilemma!

2 Idiots Discuss: 2012 In Movies

We’ve done music, we’ve done television, now it’s time for the Big Daddy of them all. Has David Simon Cowell caught up? Will The Dilemma name all three Channing Tatum movies? Let’s see.

2 Idiots Discuss: The Year In Television

We’ve already tackled the year in music… now it’s time for television.

2 Idiots Discuss: The Year in Music

“OK, I think by now we’ve established that everything is inherently worthless/And there’s nothing in the universe with any kind of objective purpose” — Titus Andronicus

Thanks for summing up the year in music, Titus!

2 Idiots Watch: The 12-12-12 Concert

Anytime a concert features Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Kanye West, the Rolling Stones, Eddie Vedder and The Who, it’s a Pop Culture Has AIDS bylaw that we have to watch it together and live blog it. Since one of us is in Peru and the other has a newborn, that’s easier said than done. But we persevered. We made it through almost six hours of dinosaur rock to bring you our trenchant insight and analysis.

Will The Dilemma be totally in the bag for aging classic rockers? Will David Simon Cowell misdirect his classist political rage? Will we viciously turn on New York City firefighters like a small but efficient pack of wolves.  Will the prospect of a reunited Nirvana with Paul McCartney replacing Kurt Cobain kill us dead? Read on, friends.

2 Idiots Draft: The Rolling Stones 50th Anniversary Mix

In all the hoopla around The Rolling Stones 50th Anniversary Marketing Extravaganza Sell-A-Thon (copyright Richards/Jagger, all rights reserved), something may have been lost… the music. While the crass commercialism of The Stones third act now has stretched into its fourth decade (Jesus, take them), all of this tedious hype rests on a great catalog of music, the vast (vast, vast) majority of which was made in the band’s first 15 years.

Make no mistake… in pop culture’s most tedious debate (Beatles vs. Stones), P.C.H.A. is on the Stones side. Which makes every time they pop their heads out of their country estates to refill their already overflowing coffers that much more painful. But, nothing salves a wound like a fantasy draft. So, in honor of their 50th anniversary (with a remarkably stable lineup to boot), we’re going to pick 25 songs each (don’t worry… we’ll keep the commentary brief), and see who can come up with the best collection. First up: David Simon Cowell.

2 Idiots Draft: Must-See TV

Welcome to Cheers Year, where we’ll be writing about Cheers throughout this television season to commemorate the 30th anniversary of its premiere.

To continue our commemoration of Cheers’s 30th anniversary, we’re going to draft our dream lineups of NBC’s Thursday night Must See TV era, which began with the debut of Cheers in 1982. We’ll each pick 4 half-hour shows and 1 one-hour show and slot them into appropriate time slots.

Which means…which of us will get our grimy hands on Celebrity Apprentice? I can’t wait to find out.

The Year Of The Director

All of you P.C.H.A. devotees out there know that since our founding nearly three years (wow, time flies when you’re avoiding writing posts) the film landscape has been pretty barren. While there were some cinematic bright spots, in general they were few and far between. To wit, our Top Ten films last year included Mission Impossible:Ghost Protocol and The Adjustment Bureau; in 2010, Greenberg and Shutter Island made the list. Nothing against any of those films, but they aren’t evidence of a banner year. And it isn’t just us. The Best Picture Oscars of the P.C.H.A. era have so far gone to The King’s Speech and The Artist.

However, this year has at least offered a sense of promise that we haven’t had in some time. With a few exceptions (Martin Scorsese and Spike Jonze come to mind), most of today’s best known and most interesting directors have released films in 2012 (or will in the next six weeks). Throughout the year, we’ve at least been able to look forward to seeing top-notch talent add to their oeuvre.

So how’ve they done (and what do we have to still look forward to)? Let’s take a look.

Stupid-Ass Comment Of The Day

Forget about silly ol’ Barack Obama.  Myanmar (the country formerly known as Burma) has a much more exciting guest on the way.  On the heels of the first visit by a U.S. President, they will host their first outdoor concert by an international star.  And, since the stage is at the base of a Buddhist religious site, who else could it be besides Jason Mraz (OK, I guess it could also be Jack Johnson)?

Don’t worry, human rights advocates, the show is sponsored by MTV EXIT (said by Politico to raises awareness about human trafficking, although where Jersey Shore in Italy fits into that isn’t addressed).  And it’s clear that Mr. Mraz has a good handle on modern slavery.

“I thought this was something that was abolished when Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, but all it did is become hidden from our view.”

Oh, Jason.  Although thanks for serving as a good illustration of U.S. myopia.  And also for throwing in some solid business advice.

“There was a recent estimate that there are about 27 million people enslaved on the planet, certainly due to hard economic times not just in the Western world but certainly in Third World countries. Humans as a commodity is a great way to run your business.”

Thanks, bro.  We’ll keep that in mind.

2 Idiots Discuss: The Dark Knight Trilogy

2012 will be remembered as the end. No, not of time as the Mayans predicted (we think), but of the most beloved, hyped, self-important, entertaining and influential comic book film trilogy ever, the Chris Nolan Batman series. From reruns of the campy ’60s television series, to the revelation of the Tim Burton films, to the abortion of the Joel Shumacher films, to the resurgence of the Nolan trilogy, Batman has been a part of Pop Culture for as long as P.C.H.A. can remember. And, even if the movie studio tries to cram a Spiderman-esque reboot down our throats, it’s likely it’ll be another generation before we see another original film take on the Dark Knight.

So, we thought we’d take stock of the Nolan trilogy, both on its own merits and on its place in the legacy of the most popular superhero of all time (suck it, Superman).

The Return Of The Grievous D.S.C.

Hey, y’all, what’s up? Has it really been three months? Wow, time flies when you’re… well, we’ll get to that.

I know that P.C.H.A. nation has been in an uproar since my unannounced disappearance. Don’t worry… the long national nightmare is over. Here’s what happened… The Dilemma came to me and said that he was a bit worried that I was shouldering a bit too much of the load (really, I think that he was worried that my productivity was making him look bad). So, he suggested (insisted, really) that I take a sabbatical to recharge my batteries. But now that the Fall Pop Culture High Season is in full effect, the time has come for P.C.H.A. to become whole again.

So, what have I been up to? Glad you asked.

Another Level Of Republican Douchbaggery

Remember those halcyon days of 2008, when the entire country, Republicans and Democrats alike, pulled together in hopeful anticipation of the change that Barack Obama promised, putting aside narrow partisan concerns in order to make America the country we all hope it can be?

No? Of course you don’t… unless you’re a member of the most cynical group of politicians this country has ever seen (and that’s saying A LOT).

Subtlety, Thy Name Is Sorkin: The Newsroom, Episodes 2 & 3 Recap

I can’t believe it happened again… I thought I had posted the recap to last week’s episode of The Newsroom, but it simply disappeared into the vacuum that is the Interweb (much like logic and reasoned discourse). A few days later, when I saw it on a Scandanavian real estate site, I realized what had happened… I misused the magical asterisk! Why is the asterisk so fucking ubiquitous? Damn my slender ladylike fingers and stupid ladylike brain! God, I need a Zanax!

But, if Sorkin has taught us anything, it’s that just because we aren’t as perfect as Him doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep striving to be Cronkite-like. So let’s catch up.

The Aaron Sorkin Playbook: The Newsroom, Episode One Recap

In the entire Pop Culture landscape, there is probably no more polarizing figure than Aaron Sorkin… and I’m just talking about inside my head. One of the few pure screenwriters to have a style distinctive enough to create his own ouevre, Sorkin is great at writing dialogue, writing inspiring speeches, writing about political issues; he can be inspiring and infuriating, intelligent and insipid; plus, he’s egomaniacally insane.

Sorkin’s career has thus far had three eras. First came his trilogy of filmed plays (A Few Good Men, Malice, The American President), which culminate in a memorable monologue, are endlessly rewatchable, and are the movie equivalent of delicious, empty calories.

Then came the trilogy of television shows that turned Sorkin into a star: the incomplete Sports Night, the great West Wing (Seasons 1-4), and the abortion that was Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. All these shows featured a speech-heavy style, self-important characters, and moments of touching transcendence. It’s no coincidence that Sorkin’s most successful original movie and television show were both set in the White House, one of the few places on Earth that can match the grandiosity he gives to his characters (plus, he somehow was able to conjure up Barack Obama a decade before his election).

After the disaster of Studio 60, Sorkin embarked on a trilogy of non-fiction screenplays (Charlie Wilson’s War, The Social Network and Moneyball). These allowed him to bring his talents for structure and dialogue to a preexisting framework that kept him away from his worst excesses (plus, he was able to conjure up the most adorable screen pixie since Shirley Temple got her period).

Now, in a grand showbiz tradition, Sorkin has used his recent success to return to the form that almost destroyed him with HBO’s The Newsroom. So, has he changed at all?

2 Idiots Debate: Mad Men Season Five

After the long wait for its return, the new season of Mad Men is in the books. We laughed, we cried, we were simultaneously embarrassed and turned-on by Megan’s singing. Mostly, we disagreed.

Let’s grab a martini and hash it out.

Is Obama JFK’s Alternate History?

He rose quickly from the Senate to the Presidency, using his speaking ability, energy and youthful image to overcome his sparse record. His young family helped to make him relatable, and overcome prejudice against his minority status. He came into office with an ambitious agenda, only to see it bottled up by an obstructionist Republican Congress. Late into his first term, he had little to show for all of his talk.

It’s a cliche to compare Obama and Kennedy, but reading Robert Caro’s fourth tome on the life of Lyndon Johnson, the similarities sometimes jump off the page. There were obvious differences as well. Kennedy had much more money to aid his rise, and he also had far more physical ailments hindering him. Obama came into office with a range of problems (two wars, a financial meltdown) that Kennedy didn’t.

But, assuming a tragedy doesn’t occur, we have an interesting glimpse into how history might have gone if Dealey Plaza never occurred.

In Politics, Being Right Isn’t Always Right

Politics is the art of the possible – Otto von Bismarck

Clearly, ole’ Otto was a product of his time, not ours. In this day and age, politics is the art of sticking to your guns and hoping that 50.1% of the people you can get away from their televisions long enough to vote hate you less than they hate the other side. It’s the art of screaming at the top of your lungs that you’re the representative of all that is good and holy, and that anybody who disagrees is the devil’s vanguard. It’s the art of choosing to do nothing if you can’t do exactly everything you want.

Obviously, the preceding paragraph will have most readers of P.C.H.A. thinking of the reactionary Republican House of Representatives. But, as recent events have shown, important forces within the Democratic Party are just as tone-deaf to the damage their crusades are doing to moving the country closer to where it needs to be.

It’s just a question of who will light the match that finally burns down the Obama village in order to save it, unions or gay rights advocates.

P.C.H.A. Song Of The Week

Is it possible for a 14-year-old to be an irredeemable douchebag?

Yes, yes it is.

2 Idiots Draft: The Beastie Boys Fantasy Draft

Now that we’ve come to grips with the fact that we live in a world where a Beastie Boy died of cancer, it’s time to move on in celebration. As with any celebrity death, the bright side of MCA’s passing was that it got us to revisit our Beasties albums, which include some of the great tracks in rap/rock history.

And the Beasties aren’t a band with a lack of classic tracks. Going for quality over quantity, they only released 5 albums in their first twenty years, but packed each of them with gems. Add in a couple of later, lesser albums, and you have more than enough for us to take our first stab at bringing our world-famous fantasy drafts to music.

As with our other fantasy drafts, the idea was to put together the best list possible, with an eye also to representing the Beasties career fully (one song per studio album was required). This also gives us a chance to take another look at the efforts of our favorite music video artist of all time (sorry, MJ).

We’ve been switching off the first pick, which means The Dilemma’s gets the blindingly obvious honors.

Wait? Radical Muslims Are Pro-Gay Marriage Now?

Geez, Allah sure does work in mysterious ways. When he’s not subverting our way of life with Manchurian candidates or destroying Cat Stevens’ music, he’s apparently watching episodes of Will & Grace. I hope it’s the one when Matt Damon joins the gay chorus!

Does LeBron Deserve A 3rd MVP Without A Title?

Tonight, in addition to the NFL Draft, the NBA Regular Season ends. It’s been a sprint, games piling on top of games, the normal pace of the NBA accelerated so that the financial effect of the lockout was as small as possible.

Heading into the playoffs, things are pretty much as they should be (i.e. the Bulls have their second straight Number One seed). In addition to finalizing the playoff matchups, the end of the regular season kicks off the NBA’s award season, when players get the bona fides that will eventually help to define their legacy. Much like with the Oscars, while the awards are supposed to be determined by what was accomplished in a defined period, people’s career and legacy also play into the decision (and should, in my opinion).

That’s why Dwight Howard’s insecure dithering will cost him his fourth straight Defensive Player of the Year, Gregg Popovich will win a second Coach of the Year over Tim Thibodeau (hard to argue with even for a Bulls fan, especially one who remembers that Phil Jackson somehow only won the award once), and Metta World Peace probably won’t repeat as the Citizenship Award winner.

However, even being a world-class dickhead won’t keep the Whore of Akron from winning his third MVP in four years.

Is There Any Chance Both Andrew Luck & RG3 Will Succeed?

Tonight, live from New York, the three-day celebration of hype and hope known as the NFL Draft kicks off. For most fans, the most important thing is the players their team take (note to Bears: offensive line, offensive line, offensive line). But, overall, the big story is that the two of the worst teams in the NFL are getting new QBs.

Andrew Luck, a prospect that has been drooled over for years, takes over for Peyton Manning in Indy. In three years as a starter at Stanford (he redshirted as a freshman), he finished runner-up in the Heisman race twice, brought his team to two BCS bowls, and finished with 67% completions and an 163 QB rating.

Robert Griffin III tries to save the former flagship franchise of the Washington Redskins, and while the shine is off coach Mike Shanahan, he still has a great pedigree as a QB coach. In three years as a starter at Baylor (he was hurt as a sophomore), he won the Heisman trophy, brought his team from backwater status to relevancy, and finished with 10K years passing, 2K yards rushing and an 155 QB rating.

Both look like can’t-miss prospects, and hold the long-term future of their future teams in their hands. But, the odds are good that one is a mirage.

The Sports Broadcaster Fantasy Draft

It’s time for another installment of our highly influential fantasy drafts, and this time around we turn our sharp, analytical minds and limited attention spans to the world of sports broadcasting.

Sports announcers are a constant thorn in the side of most sports fans – the vast majority of them detract from the game experience, rather than enhancing it. They’re there to:

a) tell us what’s happening — but we can figure that out for ourselves unless we’re idiots.

b) provide insight into why things are happening the way they are — but most announcers have the insight of a toilet seat.

c) add entertainment to the game — instead, they generally add irritation.

And that’s why we end up watching a lot of games on mute.

So, we’re each starting our own sports division on a major TV network. We need to pick a play-by-play and a color guy to do our baseball, football, and basketball games. (Neither of us watch enough hockey to know anything except that Doc Emrick is awesome.) In addition, we need to pick two guys for our studio team to anchor our sports coverage, and a useless sideline reporter to appease our numbskull viewers. The rules are pretty loose — we don’t need to keep strict definitions of play-by-play and color, since those roles are often fluid, but we do need to designate who’s the play-caller and who’s doing the analysis. We can pick radio announcers if we think they would be better at TV than current TV broadcasters.

Since The Dilemma picked first in the Bill Murray draft, David Simon Cowell’s up first today. Who’s our sports announcer Groundhog Day?