The Whitney Cummings Era: Weeks Eight, Nine, Ten

I can’t breathe! I C-A-N-T B-R-E-A-T-H-E!

It’s now been over a week since I’ve had an original dose of Ms. Whitney Cummings. First, NBC decided that people wouldn’t want to watch Whitney on Thanksgiving. Come on! I love turkey and thinly veiled inter-family hatred as much as the next guy, but am I alone in thinking that America would happily delay their feast for a half-hour to get their laugh on? Didn’t think so!

And Monday night, CBS decided to put on a repeat of 2 Broke Girls. A repeat! Now, obviously, it was a classic ranking with the best of The Honeymooners or MASH (and I don’t even know what episode it was), but let me speak for all of us when I say too soon! T-O-O S-O-O-N!

Now, we already know that U.S. networks are run by trained monkeys. But the next time they decide they have something better than the comedy of Ms. Cummings to put on is the next time they open a mail bomb.

The Whitney Cummings Era: Weeks Five, Six, Seven

Life is suffering… thus spake the Buddha, and he was the wisest fat man this side of Andy Rooney. But Siddhartha had it easy, because he didn’t have life get in the way of keeping up with the effervescent brilliance of Whitney Cummings. I know that the suffering comes from attachment, but I can’t help it… I just can’t quit her.

Thankfully, we live in an era when even a trip to another country doesn’t mean missing gold-plated comedy. Indeed, the cessation of suffering was attainable, thanks to Pirates Bay. Let’s skip through the garden of Whitney Cummings together and catch up.

The Whitney Cummings Era: Week Four

Another week is behind us, so it’s time to see the best comedy mind of our generation destroy all before her, starkly hysterical, dragging herself through the network streets at dusk looking for her snarky fix.

The Whitney Cummings Era: Week Three

What a week for The Whitney Cummings Army! The network television executives of America have recognized genius when presented with it, and picked up both 2 Broke Girls and Whitney for full seasons! Of course, this should have been a forgone conclusion… I mean, would you want to be remembered as the guy who cancelled Monty Python or The Big Bang Theory? As a fan of Freaks and Geeks and Cop Rock, however, I know that sometimes mistakes can be made. Kudos to CBS and NBC for not putting off the inevitable. However, now I have to figure out what to do with the gross of postcards I bought in case a letter-writing campaign became necessary.

This week is also notable, because we’re starting to see the full-fledged flowering of Ms. Cummings’ vision. Pilots are always unreliable as a sample of a show… they are basically a rough draft. Already, Whitney’s mother switched from Beverly D’Angelo for Jane Kaczmarek (a blonde as the mother of America’s Dusky Sweetheart… what were you smoking NBC? Hahahahaha.) This week, Ms. Cummings was finally able to put all the introductions and setup behind her and start playing her sitcom instruments.

As we settle in for a nice long ride of landmark comedy, let’s take a look at this week’s episodes.

The Whitney Cummings Era: The First Two Weeks

Usually, the dawn of a new television season delivers predictable wares… a few cop shows here, a few workplace comedies there. But we must have been extra good this year, because not one, but two, American television networks were smart enough to snag a comedic talent of a quality that hasn’t been approached since the death of Richard Pryor. Don’t want to wait more than three days without a fresh dose of Whitney Cummings? Don’t worry… CBS and NBC have got you covered.

Who is Whitney Cummings, you ask? She’s a comedian who was once somewhat funny for a couple of minutes on a Comedy Central roast. She’s been featured on the comedy classics Punk’d and Chelsea Lately. She graduated magna cum laude from the University of Pennsylvania, so her comedy must be high-brow, much like that of Dartmouth’s Aisha Tyler (such as naming her comedy album Money Shot… oh, snap, which meaning did she mean?)

It’s amazing that it took so long for such a distinguished resume to get her noticed, but when it rains, it pours. First, she co-created CBS’ 2 Broke Girls with Michael Patrick King, on which she also serves as the executive producer. Not wanting to be outgunned comedy-wise, NBC developed Whitney, on which she serves the same jobs, plus she stars! (On 2 Broke Girls, Kat Dennings is the Whitneyganger.)

Obviously, failing to take advantage of the opportunity to track a brilliant comedienne’s voice through two different vehicles would be a sin. Obviously, Ms. Cummings was so sure that both shows would be brilliant that she couldn’t choose between them (it couldn’t be that she or her management realized that she was going to have a short money-making window and better grab every paycheck she could). Obviously, being the slackers that we are, we missed the first week.

So here’s your double-double dose.

The P.C.H.A. Fall Preview: Television

On Friday night, we will once again mark the autumnal equinox, officially kicking off the most beautiful season in much of the United States (and the first day of Spring for those of us in the Southern Hemisphere).

Not only does Fall mean changing leaves and a crispness in the air, but it is high tide for Pop Culture. The new season begins on television; prestige movies fill the theaters; the King of American sports eclipses events that would rule any other time of the year; the 2012 election moves into a matter of months; bands try to cash in on the iTunes gift certificate redemption season. Three months of Fall normally hold more goodies than the other three seasons combined.

So this week, we’ll examine the menu and whet our appetite for what’s to come.

Even though it’s lost some importance, the Fall season still produces the bulk of television programming for the year. Whether that includes the bulk of good television isn’t exactly clear. Coming out with a seven-day, three-hour slate of shows with traditional commercial breaks and 24-week schedules seems a bit retarded in this day and age, but the networks still do it.

Let’s take a look at three questions this leaves us with.