Following up on the Leno-Oprah showdown yesterday, we have another awful pop culture mash-up forthcoming:
Paul Haggis, writer/director of Crash and writer of many other bad movies, is going to film the recording session for a 25th-anniversary remake of “We Are the World,” benefitting Haiti.
First of all, “We Are the World” is a terrible song — mawkish, dull and embarrassing. It was eaten alive by other tribute songs from the same era, like “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” and “Sun City.” We don’t even need a reminder that the song existed, let alone a new version. More importantly, how can we ever determine who is going to be this generation’s Bette Midler? Our Dan Akroyd? Is David Spade going to stand awkwardly in the back row?
Second, what is Haggis possibly going to bring to the table? Are we going to find out Taylor Swift is secretly a racist and that Mary J. Blige and Jason Mraz actually met each one before, during a heated racial confrontation?
The good news is that Paul Haggis once wrote an episode of Walker: Texas Ranger, which gives me an excuse to play this (not that I need an excuse):