It’s Over

Well, it’s been nice America. 234 years…not a bad run. We started as radical revolutionaries, became a roadmap for democracy, grew into the world’s largest power and changed the course of human history with our technology. But sometimes there’s a sign that a journey has ended.

That’s right. Fancy Feast Appetizers…For Cats. For Cats. APPETIZERS. FOR. MOTHERFUCKING. FELINES!!!

An appetizer is defined as “a small portion of a food served before or at the beginning of a meal to stimulate the desire to eat.” That’s always a big problem with cats. When I had a cat growing up, I always got the sense that his culinary experience wasn’t optimal. I’m sorry, Max…you died without fully realizing your palate.

A 2 oz. can, say Tilapia or Seabass and Shrimp in Broth, costs around $2. Assuming your cat is just a normal foodie, and not a true gourmand, he’s probably eating an appetizer only with his dinner. So, that’s $60 a month. According to Feed the Children, that would feed 12 of the 13 million hungry children in America.

Of course, this isn’t the first time we’ve told the 1 billion hungry people around the world to suck it, so they’re probably not all that surprised.

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Filed under David Simon Cowell, Politics Has AIDS

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