I Should’ve Fucked Tiger When I Had The Chance

It’s always painful when your heroes fall. Psychologists say that a necessary step to becoming an adult is realizing your parents are flawed… that doesn’t make it any less disconcerting. I remember when I found out that Sly Stallone wasn’t really a Vietnam Vet, that Ricky Williams had stopped smoking pot and that the black Karate Kid was really practicing Kung-Fu. You think I’d have learned by now.

But it’s still soul-crushing to discover that perhaps Dr. Drew Pinsky isn’t in the Celebrity Rehab business purely to help those in need. I mean, we all know the good that he did for Stephen Adler, Gary Busey and Joey from The Real World: Hollywood. But now TMZ is reporting that Season Four is only occurring with the help of some shenanigans. Apparently, we now live in a world where Keyshia Cole’s mom, Jason from The Hills and one of the London brothers aren’t considered big enough celebrities to carry a show.

But Rachel Uchitel… now she’s another story. Being the first slut publicly outed for blowing Tiger Woods is worth half-a-mil. In order to lure her away from Celebrity Apprentice, the producers of Celebrity Rehab 4 offered her $500,000 for a few weeks of work. And all of a sudden, she remembered that she had a pill addiction.

I just hope this doesn’t impede the recovery of oil heir Jason Davis.

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Filed under David Simon Cowell, Television Has AIDS

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