This Just In… Summer Is Hot

There are many reasons to hate New York City… the sports teams, the Broadway musicals, the self-righteous martyrdom every New Yorker feels about 9/11. But the most irritating of all is the myopic, self-centered point of view that comes from living on a cloistered island that also happens to be a media center.

This defect was made annoyingly clear over the past couple of weeks. Every channel and website I turned to had breathless bitching about how hot New York City was. Really? Well, gee. Let me strip my sweat-soaked skin away from the cushions of my couch and get on my knees in my sweltering apartment to say a little prayer for the poor people of NYC.

Dear New York,

IT”S HOT EVERYWHERE!!! NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR FUCKING WEATHER!!! LEAVE US ALONE!!!

Love,
America

Advertisements

3 Comments

Filed under David Simon Cowell, Television Has AIDS

3 responses to “This Just In… Summer Is Hot

  1. Pingback: In Which I Take the Bait… « Pop Culture Has AIDS

  2. Musky Canadian Scent

    You are from CT and by rights don’t have anything to do with NYC.

    Also, I was in both cities during the worst of this recent heat wave, and NYC ain’t got shit over the rest of us.

  3. David Simon Cowell, I love you, but you’re bringing me down.

    Thank you for acting like a stereotypical resident of the second city: angry, bitter and jealous, with a constant chip on your shoulder. The real reason that every media outlet is packed with NYC-centric news and information is because people from flyover country love to complain about the coverage even more than they hate our fair city.

    We don’t begrudge you your feelings. We respect you.

    Love,

    New York

    (insert even angrier, more bitter comment from DSC that I’m from Connecticut and by rights don’t have anything to do with New York)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s