Your Friday Antivirals

Summer’s dying, children. And there’s nothing we can do.

Here are a few amusements to help you pass the time as you force yourself to sit out on bar patios in these final hours of warmth.

• PCHA-favorite Ken Tremendous appears on PCHA-favorite Alan Sepinwall’s podcast to discuss PCHA-favorite The Wire vs. PCHA-favorite The Sopranos. Needless to see, it merits a listen.

• The day that Bruce Springsteen fans have long awaited is upon us — November 16 will see the release of a 6-disc box set, containing: a remastered version of Darkness on the Edge of Town, two discs of unreleased tracks from that era, a making-of documentary (set to debut at the Toronto International Film Festival), and a video of a full concert from the legendary Darkness tour. For those of us who are too young to have experienced that tour, this is the best that could be hoped for.

• The curse of our baseball douchebag rankings has begun, as Stephen Strasburg is headed for Tommy John surgery, breaking the hearts of baseball fans and fantasy owners across the land. In related news, Rob Dibble punched Strasburg in the arm, gave him a noogie, and told him to stop being a pussy.

• The Worldwide Leader’s Buster Olney fired a shot across the bow of baseball fans who appreciate advanced statistics last night, in what Aaron Gleeman called “a weird, misguided anti-sabermetrics rant.” Ardent crusaders against sabermetrics share many traits with ultraconservative Republicans: they’re not intellectually curious, they’re angry at people who are, and they’re frightened of facts, knowledge and science.

• Hey, speaking of ultraconservatives, Glenn Beck’s already-infamous rally is going to have a couple more guests: Albert Pujols and Tony LaRussa. We always know LaRussa was a dick, but et tu, Albert?

• More from Gleeman: The worst announcer in the history of the human voice, Hawk Harrelson, is convinced that umpire Joe West has a long-standing grudge against the White Sox, and influences the outcome of games against them. Joe West is an asshole, but Hawk is convinced that every umpire has a grudge against the White Sox, especially when the team’s losing.

• The whole world is inexplicably going insane for Cee-Lo Green’s new song, “Fuck You,” most likely because it prominently features a bad word.

• If you are luck enough to live in Austin, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, Philadelphia, San Francisco, or Washington D.C., you can go see Louis CK’s new stand-up film, Hilarious, on September 8. And if you are living anywhere, you should be watching “Louie” every week on FX.