Another Wasted Season Begins

Even though we at P.C.H.A. have turned over a new leaf, in order to bring you the entertainment and information you crave on a more consistent basis, we’re still not perfect (well, I’m not anyway… The Dilemma is pretty damn adorable). Last night was our fantasy football draft, and between insulting dead mothers and unborn children, and ignoring insults about my own family, I may have had a drink or two. Or twenty or thirty. So I haven’t exactly been overflowing with ideas today.

However, I did have a moment of clarity when I looked at my fantasy team this morning (OK, afternoon) and saw this smiling face looking out at me from the starting QB position.

Oh, demon alcohol… why are you so cruel?

So now I have to watch this diabetic freak each week knowing that not only is he submarining a once great football team, but also the fine men of Mitchy’s A Bastard. But wait, now that he has Mike Martz as his coordinator, everything is bound to work out OK, just like it did for Alex Smith and Jon Kitna. AARRGGHH!!!

And if that weren’t bad enough, Cutler’s now been drawn into the sordid world of reality television. According to interweb reports (and when are they ever wrong), he’s now seeing Kristin Cavallari, the third most annoying whore ever on The Hills. So the quarterback that is supposed to work on his decision-making has decided to go where Brody Jenner has gone before. Even worse, Ms. Cavallari is from Barrington… the most active petri-dish for douchebags and dickheads in the Chicago area (sorry, Lake Forest). I’m sure they get along swimmingly.

I can’t wait for NBA season.

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Filed under David Simon Cowell, Sports Has AIDS

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