Your Saturday Antivirals

Do you feel OK about our culture? Do you think America’s in an alright place? Do you need a cold reminder that we are in the death throes? Take a look at these headlines from this week’s gossip magazines. I dare you to read these and not come away with a profound sense of depression, and a certainty that we are in an irreversible decline.

  • Us Weekly: Exclusive: Jen Aniston Rejected By Cougar Town’s Josh Hopkins
  • People: Michael Bolton: Bruno Tonioli Should Do Some Soul-Searching
  • Us Weekly: Howard Stern Gets Bedbugs
  • OK! Magazine: Exclusive! Jen Aniston is a Technophobe!
  • People: Hillary Duff Darkens Up Her Hair
  • OK!: Miley Sets Her Sights on Shorts…Twice!
  • Us Weekly: Why Jessica Simpson’s Pals Are So Worried About Her New Man

If you need me, I’ll be stocking up on bottled water and porn, and finding you the best Internet links out there.

Hey, do you feel like you know Scott Stapp, but you don’t really know him? Interested in whether or not he likes hummus and where he stands on teachers’ salaries? It’s your fucking lucky day.

The A.V. Club interviews David Cross about one or both of his new shows with Will Arnett (the latter-day Martin and Lewis?).

Speaking of interviews, here’s one with the always charming Craig Finn, via The Boston Globe.

Check out Best Coast’s visit to the Current’s studio for some laid-back, high-sounding California lite rock. (I didn’t mean that to be as condescending as it sounded. I really do like Best Coast.)

Here is Pitchfork’s guide to upcoming fall releases.

/scans list

/dies of boredom

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Filed under Internet Has AIDS, The Dilemma

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