I’ve been doing a little research. Now, we all know how old Mozart was
when he did all that. Like, one. And Keats. Big poet, Keats. Keats was dead by 24. And Tracy Austin –
When she started playing, she was tiny. Mmm. I’d like to 15-love with her, if you know what I mean. Ace her deuce.
Sometimes, God gives the world a talent that burns so brightly, that society has no choice but to recognize it even before the vessel reaches maturity. It doesn’t happen often; some generations pass without experiencing its presence at all. Thankfully, we have been given an acting prodigy like has never been seen before, and have been wise enough to celebrate and remunerate the child.
We first knew that he was something special when he was able to hold his own on the big screen with Oscar-nominee Queen Latifah in Bringing Down The House. Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom, knew that his adorable dimples and sparkling eyes masked a greater talent. So for the past seven years, he’s come into our homes every week, his comic timing accenting the fully developed character he’s created.
And for giving us the gift of laughter, we have rightfully celebrated him. Over the next two years, he’ll make $15 million… and he just got his driver’s license.
And he’s worth every penny.
Congrats, Angus! We could have bought 15 million mosquito nets for Africa, but instead we decided to show you our love. On behalf of America, thanks for the laughs.