Normally, I root for the American League representative in the World Series, unless Boston is involved. Here’s why that’s changing:
1) The assholes in the Rangers stands waving Texas flags
2) All the other assholes in the Rangers stands
3) Claws and Antlers (note: this is actually the number one reason. I’ve never seen anything so gay on a baseball field.)
4) The fact that Texans don’t give a fuck about baseball until their team is on the brink of the World Series, and even then, they’re more concerned with the Cowboys’ slow start.
5) Elvis Andrus’ hair
6) Nolan Ryan. Burn in Hell, you overrated simpleton. I can’t wait until the steroid allegations surface against him in the next 18 months.
7) I will never root for anything that would make George W. Bush happy
.8) I will never root for anything that would make George H.W. Bush happy.
9) Dallas is the Atlanta of Texas.
10) The Rangers franchise was stolen from Washington, D.C. and has earned all the bad karma it has experienced over the years.
11) Coked-up Ron Washington’s irritating, insane reactions in the dugout.
12) Rangers fans chant “You took steroids” at ARod, yet applaud pre-game videos featuring Juan Gonzalez, Pudge Rodriguez and Rafael Palmeiro.
In closing: http://30fps.mocksession.com/YANKEEDOUCHE.gif