There Is A Football God

Proof #1) Everyone knows that Peyton Manning is an asshole. But his run of hermetically-sealed-by-a-dome, playoff-choking, referee-enabled, throwing-the-ball-away-when-breathed-on, teammate-blaming statistical dominance had lasted so long that I started to doubt whether the other shoe would ever drop. Well, first there was this:

And now, in the past five games (four of them losses) Herr Peyton has thrown 9 TDs and 13 INTs, including one on Sunday that cost the Colts a must-win home game in OT:

I know, I know Joe Buck… it’s his inexperienced receiving corps, his bad offensive line, his wife hasn’t been cooking him his chicken pot pies the way he likes, blah, blah, blah. Shut the fuck up and get your mouth back on Aikman… that horse cock ain’t gonna suck itself.

Proof #2) This:

And this:

I know, I know Joe… this marks the sad end of an epic journey from West Bumfuck, Mississippi to the Super Bowl. And true, that lying slut has no real proof. Back to work… Troy’s getting annoyed.

Proof #3) No words necessary:

Told you to hurry up, Joe… poor Troy is now as shriveled as Frank Gifford.

We’re heading towards an NFL playoff without Favre (5-7, 3 games out) or Peyton (6-6, 2 games out), and with Vick (8-4, 3rd seed) as one of the Super Bowl favorites. I will now do the Humpty Dance.

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Filed under David Simon Cowell, Sports Has AIDS

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