Your Saturday Antivirals

It’s two weeks until Christmas, you guys. So, in the spirit of the holidays, allow me to complain about something I hate: people who celebrate Festivus.

On Seinfeld, Festivus was a hilarious conceit, and it should have been left at that. But people celebrate this fake holiday in real life, and I fucking hate those people. They are ruining Seinfeld for all of us, and they’re no better than people who dress up in Lord of the Rings costumes. They air their grievances, and they put up their Festivus poles and they have their feats of strength, and it all needs to stop. You don’t need to prove to the world that you really “get” that episode of Seinfeld. We all know you’re a Seinfeld fan. We all are. It was a great show.

But please, let’s stick to celebrating Christmas, the original fake holiday of our culture. Thanks.

So you know how pretty much all I do is complain about sports broadcasting, from analysts’ unwillingness to embrace advanced statistics to the dunderheadedness of our leading sports personalities? Well…what he said.

First, this week gave us the delight of the trailer for Mel Gibson’s forthcoming The Beaver. Now comes this poster, and all the glorious Photoshopping that comes with it.

Was this week’s episode of Community the best modern sitcom take on the holiday special thus far? Community creator Dan Harmon discusses the episode.

Will Leitch is going to be reviewing movies for Yahoo! Here, he offers the top ten rules for making year-end top ten lists.

Newly inducted BBWAA member Jay Jaffe offers some thoughts on the Carl Crawford signing. The Red Sox certainly have taken the lead on World Series favorites in 2011, but will this deal kill them in the long run?

Is Elmore Leonard really on Twitter?

And finally, Modern Drunkard Magazine places odds on who the greatest drinker of all time was. I’m really liking F. Scott Fitzgerald at 60-1.

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