I Guess Elvis Really is Dead

Last week, David Simon Cowell wrote about the continued demise of the album as a commercially viable art form.

We now have more evidence that the music industry has irrevocably changed. That there’s no going home again. That the days of listening to records and CDs, of having bands that matter in a cultural sense, are truly gone.

The cast of Glee broke Elvis Presley’s record for most songs on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart.

Admittedly, the Billboard chart has probably outlived its usefulness as a measuring tool for popularity, but this is still a slap in the face.

Artists!

Records are made to be broken, but this is more like Mark McGwire breaking Roger Maris’s home run record with the help of steroids than Hank Aaron passing Babe Ruth.

113 songs by the Glee-diots have now appeared on the chart. 113! For karaoke versions of mediocre pop songs. This is even worse than the days when the Now! That’s What I Call Music series topped Billboard’s album chart every year.

For our consuming public, it’s not enough to have pre-fab pop stars like Katy Perry and Britney Spears, we need those stars “covered” by a cast of a shitty television show. This makes me long for the days when Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men were breaking all the Beatles records.

Dumb kids will be dumb kids, I suppose. The people who are paying for this “music” are the same people who bought New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys albums. And I know I shouldn’t apply any significance to this terrible moment in pop culture history, but I can’t help it. With each passing year, Elvis Presley becomes less of an icon and more a joke. And he fades a little more from our collective memory.

I wonder: where will the Glee cast’s equivalent of Graceland be built? Los Angeles? Or in Ohio, where the show is set? I can’t wait to someday stroll through a museum of Lea Michele’s vintage cars. To visit the eternal flame by Matthew Morrison’s grave. All hail the new kings and queens.

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Filed under Music Has AIDS, The Dilemma

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