Introducing Garden & Gun Magazine

At last, the Platonic ideal of a magazine is here:

Garden & Gun Magazine: A Southern lifestyle magazine that’s all about the magic of the new South. Garden & Gun appeals to both men and women with a strong connection to the land, and all things Southern.

Can we just cancel the National Magazine Awards right now? Because Garden & Gun is going to win them all. This year and every year.

This one goes out to all of y’all that claim print magazines are dying. This is a big slap in your face, isn’t it? The savior of print is here. You can take your online blogs and your e-readers and your paywalls and just chuck them right out the window. Print is here to stay, baby. Thank you, Garden & Gun.

Finally. Finally! A publication that combines gardening, home decor and general lifestyle tips with shooting, hunting and killing. Why has it taken this long? Shame on Conde Nast and every other big-time publishing house that didn’t see the potential in this deal long ago.

Some recent features in Garden & Gun include (for real):

  • Greg Allman’s Restless Soul (ha ha ha ha ha)
  • Dog Tired (How one springer found his rightful place on the bed)
  • Fetch Daddy a Drink (by P.J. O’Rourke!)
  • The Urban Gun Dog
  • The Virginia Beauty (An heirloom apple that hits the sweet spot)
  • Extreme Gun Makeover
  • More Civil War (The story of a Confederate general who wouldn’t surrender)
  • The Horse Olympics
  • A Biscuit’s Best Friend
  • The Legend of Bo Whoop (More than sixty years ago, the South’s most famous shotgun went missing. Here’s the story of how it was found)

Delightful! I don’t want to be left out of this cotillion, so I’ve submitted some articles on spec to G&G, in which I also try to capture the magic of the new South*:

* I think the magic of the new South is basically the magic of the old South plus NASCAR and minus Boss Hogg.

  • Why Uncle Remus has Gotten a Bum Rap
  • Hey! You Got Your Pecan Pie on my Grits! (How a happy accident changed Alabama cuisine forever)
  • Suzanne Sugarbaker: An Appreciation
  • Double Knotted (How to recycle your lynching ropes in your Magnolia garden)
  • “Airguns are for Pussies”: The Bubba Baxter Story
  • How to Stop Your Man From Using Your Watermelons as Target Practice
  • Zakk Wylde’s Wandering Heart
  • Forget, Hell! Forget, Mmmm! (Why Johnny Reb is alive and well in a bowl of chicken n’ dumplings)

But I think we can all agree that Garden & Gun won’t fulfill its potential until it becomes the New Yorker of the South. And that means publishing fiction. With that in mind, I’ve also submitted a short story to G&G, and I’m debuting an excerpt here as a sneak preview for loyal PCHA readers. Enjoy.

Shotguns Over Savannah

I ate chicken-fried steak and thought about Jefferson Davis. It was a Tuesday, so that’s what I was doing. I sat on my front porch, I ate chicken-fried steak, and I thought about Jeff Davis. On Monday, I had sat on my front porch, sipped iced tea, and thought about how much I hate niggers. On Wednesday, I would sit on my front porch, eat bread pudding, and think about Dale Earnhardt. The Intimidator, not his pansy son.

Lynyrd, my trusty 18-year-old yellow lab, lay ‘neath the glider. He’d been with me a long time, and we’d had some adventures together. We proved Richard Jewell’s innocence back in ’96, and we’d tracked down that slave that escaped from the Marston Plantation in ’07. Servant. I mean servant, of course.

I done heard a rustling in the garden, over by them sweet potatoes my wife grows so nice. I didn’t know if it was a critter or an invader, but I was gonna make damn sure that whatever it was wouldn’t live to see tomorrow. What happened next was shocking…


1 Comment

Filed under Politics Has AIDS, The Dilemma

One response to “Introducing Garden & Gun Magazine

  1. Pingback: $10 for a One-Year Subscription (Six Issues) to "Garden & Gun" Magazine ($19.97 Value) - Daily Couponds

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