Look, we here at PCHA go out of our way not to make fun of Peter King too often. It’s too easy. Picking King’s columns apart is like deconstructing a Republican campaign platform: they’re so illogical that it’s not even worth the time.
It would be very easy to spend 10,000 words or so mocking, analyzing and disproving every Monday Morning Quarterback, but a) someone already does that, and b) I would actually feel guilty. As David Simon Cowell has pointed out, King actually means well in spite of all his egomania and cluelessness. And he’s such a terrible writer that consistently FJM-ing his columns would feel like kicking a leper in the balls. It’s just not needed.
But it is tempting. Lord, is it tempting. And sometimes I don’t have the resolve to resist. So this week, just this once, I want to discuss one tiny little line in Peter’s latest MMQB.
And I swear I’ll limit myself to that one line.
/looks at Peter’s Tweets about Lady Gaga being “sort of Madonna Jr.”
NO! Just the one line in MMQB, that’s all we’re dealing with here today.
From the immortal, beloved “Ten Things I Think I Think”:
k. Will Ferrell’s great. No matter what happens on The Office, I’ll think he’s great. But he’s a bad fit on the show. His character is forced and unfunny.
l. Someone had to say it.
Ho boy. Someone had to say it? As a separate bullet point? Really, Peter?
I’m not sure the phrase “someone had to say it” has ever been more misused. “Someone had to say it” should be reserved for situations where you’re voicing an unpopular, even controversial opinion that most people are too timid to state publicly. Like, for example, “I know we’re all happy bin Laden is dead, but shooting an unarmed man point blank raises troubling long-term ethical questions. Someone had to say it.”
I have not read one review or spoken to one person who thinks Will Ferrell is anything but a terrible fit on The Office. There has not exactly been a groundswell of pro-Ferrell on The Office support.
“The producers of The Office absolutely must lock up Will Ferrell long term. I can’t imagine anyone else as the new boss at Dunder-Mifflin. He’s brought a certain magic to the show that’s made it feel fresh again,” said nobody.
What’s next, Peter?
m. That show Outsourced has vaguely racial overtones.
n. Someone had to say it.
o. Boy, the Yankees and Red Sox sure do get a lot of attention on ESPN.
p. Someone had to say it.
q. The plot of The Hangover 2 sure does resemble the plot of The Hangover.
r. Someone had to say it.
s. I’ve noticed that there aren’t as many record stores around as there used to be.
t. Someone had to say it.
u. When I go off-topic in my columns and stop writing about football, I tend to write trite, obvious observational “tidbits” that have no place in a major publication.
v. Someone had to say it.