The Five Best Patriotic Songs (U.S.A. Version)

Contrary to popular belief, we here at P.C.H.A. are quite the patriots. Unfortunately, when we were taught about American history in grade school, we actually believed all the high-falutin rhetoric. So when it turned out to be mostly marketing for imperialism… let’s just say it made us a bit bitter (see: religion). But if by patriotism, you mean embracing and living the ideals of the mosaic of America, and not flag bumper stickers and Tea Party jamborees, count us in.

Unfortunately, most “patriotic” music is rah-rah bullshit on par with “These Colors Don’t Run” T-shirts (I’m looking at you, Mr. Keith). But that doesn’t mean there aren’t some songs that can make you feel good about being an American without having to take a shower immediately.

5) Neil Diamond:America

Believe it or not, there was a time when the immigrant experience was seen as one of America’s strengths, not a form of cultural AIDS that will kill us all (i.e. the time before immigrants turned brown). And who better to sugarcoat the struggle of making it in the New World than Mr. Vegas Sequins himself?

4) The Battle Hymn of the Republic

Yeah, it’s heavy on military and religion… but a good fucking song is a good fucking song. It’s almost impossible not to get a bit stirred up by a decent version of this Civil War classic. The bummer… there’s no definitive modern version. Come on, Titus Andronicus!

3) Simon & Garfunkel:America

One of the unabashedly great things about America is the roadtrip… being able to glide across a continent with no impediments. This Paul Simon classic perfectly captures both the feelings of freedom and melancholy that come with getting lost in America, as well as hinting at the impossibility of knowing a theoretical nation.

2) Woody Guthrie:This Land Is Your Land

There’s no greater epitome of the American myth than travelin’ Woody Guthrie. And he was a good enough songwriter that his Socialist indictment of private property has basically turned into a nursery rhyme, a bit of irony that I’d bet he’d appreciate. A nice reminder that the notion that America=pure capitalism is complete and utter bullshit.

1) Ray Charles:America the Beautiful

This should really be America’s national anthem, if it weren’t for the legal stickiness of the god part. And it’s pretty perfect that the definitive version was sung by a black, blind heroin addict. Only in America.



Filed under David Simon Cowell, Music Has AIDS

3 responses to “The Five Best Patriotic Songs (U.S.A. Version)

  1. Pingback: Paul Simon at Glastonbury 2011 – review « Chrome Bar

  2. Dear Editors,

    We are AFTER DARK FILMS, the film studio and production company best known for Horrorfest “8 Films To Die For,” an annual, nationwide theatrical event. We want to include you in our news & publicity outreach.

    In addition to horror, After Dark is now producing ACTION FILMS in collaboration with Joel Silver’s Dark Castle Entertainment. Later in 2011, we’ll be releasing original action films including Transit, starring Jim Caveziel (The Passion of the Christ), James Frain (True Blood), Elizabeth Rohm (Law and Order), and Harold Perrineau (Lost); and Dragon Eyes with Jean-Claude Van Damme (Universal Soldier: Regeneration) and martial arts star Cung Le (Pandorum). More titles will be announced shortly.

    As you may have heard, we were pleased to announce that After Dark Films– in partnership with Lionsgate & Syfy– has created a new series, After Dark Originals (ADO). With ORIGINALS, we have taken the horror film festival concept to the next level, giving fans a role in developing the projects we produce. At the end of January 2011, we released the following 8 films under the ADObanner: Husk, Fertile Ground, Scream of the Banshee, Prowl, The Task, Re-Kill, Seconds Apart and 51, starring brand-name talents like Lauren Holly (Dumb & Dumber), Orlando Jones (Drum Line), Bruce Boxleitner (Babylon 5), Leisha Halley (The L Word), Gale Harold (Queer as Folk) and Bruce Payne (Passenger 57).

    All you have to do is let us know whom to contact, and your publication, site, blog or forum will be among the first to receive the latest news (press releases) and assets (key art, trailers & clips) for our Horror and Action films.

    We look forward to hearing from you.


    Sara Finder
    VP. Publicity and Promotion
    After Dark Films
    8967 West Sunset Blvd.,
    West Hollywood, CA 90069
    310-270-4260 (Main)
    310-270-4262 (Fax)

  3. Pingback: 7-26-2009 Dream Fragment A Trip+The Last Patriot+Pauline Croze Practicing= Trip Patriot Croze « John Jr's WordPress Blog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s