The _________ of the _________

This weekend, Mrs. Dilemma and I escaped the blast oven that is Chicago by taking a trip to Door Country, Wisconsin, which bills itself as “The Cape Cod of the Midwest.” Look, Door County is a nice enough place and all, but calling anything the “______ of the Midwest” is damning with faint praise. It’s saying that ______ is OK, it’s just fine, but it’s not as good as the actual thing it’s being compared to. See also: Northwestern and the University of Chicago being labeled the “Harvard of the Midwest.”

So let’s apply this to pop culture. What else is “The __________ of the ___________”?

Shia LaBeouf is the Emilio Estevez of the 2011 film scene.

Bill Simmons is the David Foster Wallace of sports website footnoting.

Entourage is the Seinfeld of massive douchebaggery.

True Blood is the Twilight of television.

Cowboys and Aliens is the Raiders of the Lost Ark of Harrison Ford’s golden years.

Nicki Minaj is the Missy Elliot of modern hip hop.

Battleship is the Battleship Potemkin of movies based on board games.

Taylor Kitsch and Brooklyn Decker are the Bogart and Bacall of movies based on board games. (I tease because I love, Riggo.)

Gwyneth Paltrow is the Michael Jordan of hateful faux-British dilettantes.

Gwyneth Paltrow is the Julia Child of amateur faux-British celebrity chefs.

CSI: New York is the NCIS: Los Angeles of the CSI shows.

Limp Bizkit’s Gold Cobra is the Steel Wheels of the Limp Bizkit catalog.

Rick Reilly is the Jayson Blair of golf columnists.

Rick Perry is the George W. Bush of the 2012 Republican candidate field. Uh oh…


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