Morrissey’s Just the Very Best

Do you want to know who knows how to make a point reasonably, persuasively, subtly and eloquently? Morrissey, that’s who.

And do you remember when everybody loved The Smiths and thought Morrissey was a haunted poet and a visionary?

Yeah. Then this happened:

And the calf that you carve with a smile
And the turkey you festively slice
Do you know how animals die?


Now, Moz has weighed in on the Norway massacre, as we were all anxiously awaiting him to do.

Quiz: which of these things did Morrissey say on stage in Warsaw this week?

A) “People are talking a lot about what happened in Norway the other day. But you know what nobody’s talking about? The number of horses that Big Glue slaughters every day to keep putting Elmer’s in the hands of your filthy, obese, paste-eating children.”

B) “We all live in a murderous world, as the events in Norway have shown, with 97 dead. Though that is nothing compared to what happens in McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Shit every day.”

C) “The fat cats at CockDonald’s and Burger Cunt murder millions of animals each year so ignorant morons can have their ‘Value Meals.’ Nobody bats an eyelash. But kill a few dozen Nordic children and all of a sudden everyone’s in an uproar? Let me tell you something…wait one bloody second. Do I smell hot dogs? Is that vending stand selling hot dogs??”

D) “I would like to observe a moment of silence in honor of those who lost their lives this week in Norway. Our thoughts are with their families and loved ones. I’d like to send this song out to them tonight. This is ‘You’re The One For Me, Fatty’….”

Answer here.

[P.S. The best part of Morrissey’s Wikipedia page? “In July 2011 Morrissey was attacked by a dog.” Ha ha ha ha, YESSSSSSSS]


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Filed under Music Has AIDS, The Dilemma

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