Jered Weaver Lives Down to His Name

We’ve been waiting on you, Jered.

We’ve been waiting for you to show that you’re a whiny little bitch, just like your brother. You’ve given us tantalizing hints here and there, but never a smoking gun that there’s no escape from the Weaver gene pool.

Until yesterday. Thank you, Jered.

In case you missed it amid all the hubbub surrounding the trade deadline:

Weaver faced the Detroit Tigers yesteday, and found himself on the wrong end of a pitching duel with Justin Verlander, who ended up taking a no-hitter through 7 2/3 innings.

In the bottom of the third, Magglio Ordonez broke a scoreless tie with a two-run homer just inside the left field foul pole. Ordonez stood at the plate watching the ball for a while. According to him, he was watching to make sure the ball stayed fair. According to Weaver, Ordonez was showing him up. So, of course, Weaver screamed at Ordonez as he rounded the bases, because Weavers are all about taking the high road and being the bigger men.

The score remained 2-0 Tigers until Carlos Guillen hit a solo home run in the seventh. Clearly pissed that Weaver had screamed at Ordonez, Guillen pimped his home run. A lot. He watched it for a while, glared at Weaver, and skipped sideways halfway down the line to first. This displeased Jered, who again screamed at a runner who circled the bases after homering against him. It should be noted here that Weaver was just yelling like a normal person would yell at someone — he was having some kind of fit, with veins popping out of his forehead and frantic, manic gesturing. I was concerned he might have a stroke.

Home plate umpire Hunter Wendelstedt wisely walked out to try to calm Weaver down, and warned both benches. But that didn’t stop ol’ Jered. On the very next pitch, he aimed a fastball directly at Alex Avila’s head, missing by inches. He walked off the field, knowing he’d be ejected, screaming “Fuck You!” at the Tigers bench repeatedly, his disgusting chin hair flapping in the wind.

Weaver’s behavior throughout the game was inexcusable and disgraceful. Even if you’re the sort of bloke who things baseball is a gentleman’s game (it’s not), and that hitters who pose after home runs are breaking some holy unwritten rule (they’re not), that doesn’t justify Weaver firing at Avila’s head, potentially causing severe injury or worse. There’s a huge gap between acting like a dick on the field and trying to hurt someone. Weaver doesn’t understand that. He also caused a massive disruption in a game in which Justin Verlander was attempting to accomplish something legitimately historic.

Jered Weaver is an ass. You can bet that he’ll make a strong debut on the 2012 update of baseball’s biggest douchebags.

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3 Comments

Filed under Sports Has AIDS, The Dilemma

3 responses to “Jered Weaver Lives Down to His Name

  1. Pingback: Jered Weaver and The Good Guy Fallacy | Pop Culture Has AIDS

  2. Angels Fan

    And who are you to speak about Weavers behavior. What about Verlanders behavior after Aybar dropped the bunt down and he couldn’t make a routine throw to first base. Weaver is very competitive and bothered by it. He has some of the best control in the majors. That ball was more than a foot above the head of Avila. And in real mens baseball players dont show off after hitting a homer, and the unwritten rule that a pitcher will hit the next up batter if his teammate got hit intentially. Everyone is out to win the game. Weaver let his angry get the best of him.

  3. Anonymous

    Weaver better be careful or he might be on the recieving end of a visit from a couple of Detroit’s own ‘Angel’s’ of the biker variety.

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