Your regularly scheduled discussion of Breaking Bad is taking a week off, while I check out Jesse’s rehab center (it’s been a long year). We’ll be back next week with the recap I know you’re craving.
In the meantime, go read Tara Ariano’s list of potential Breaking Bad spinoffs. To her already-fantastic list, I’ll only add these:
“I Wish That I Had Jesse’s Girl”: Emily Rios stars as Andrea, a character so dull she’ll make you miss Epyck from Friday Night Lights. Watch Andrea raise her young son in a swanky section of the ABQ, all in a certain monotone that will make you wish you were dead.
“The Color Purple”: Marie’s new QVC show hawking a line of all-purple vests and pantsuits (warning: some clothes may be “hot”).
“Tea With Tio”: Hector, or “Tio” as he’s affectionately known, hosts a bizarre celebrity interview show in which the celebrities stare at Tio and wait for him to ask a question, but he just drools and rings his wheelchair bell.