Other Things That Offend Tony LaRussa

Tony LaRussa is a genius. Obviously. I mean — Buzz Bissinger wrote a book about him for heaven’s sake. So when the Genius speaks, we all take a knee and listen up.

Today we learned that LaRussa is offended by the film Moneyball. Because of course he is. Quoth the sage:

Good acting. But other than I that? I was offended by what the book represented…On-base percentage is one of the most dangerous concepts of the last seven, eight years.

Hey, Tony? Tone? Tone-man? Maybe less than 72 hours after you committed one of the most egregious managerial gaffes in the history of the World Series isn’t the best time to make your latest anti-intellectual stand? Maybe chill out until the World Series is over? Just some advice from your old pal The Dilemma.

LaRussa also told us that he was offended after Game 2 when the media dared question his players for bailing immediately after the game without talking to reporters (though Tony and I actually do share some common views on that subject). Regardless, that’s twice we’ve officially offended Tony during this World Series alone. The man is just easily rankled.

We could go over just why LaRussa is so wrong about Moneyball and a bunch of other things, but we’ve been over all that shit before. So instead: a short list of some other things that offends our boy Tony:

  • Anyone who dares question his authority or wisdom
  • Driving while sober
  • Jack Clark
  • Galileo
  • Dylan plugging in at Newport
  • The designated hitter
  • Modern medicine
  • Heckling fans
  • The players’ union
  • People who just don’t “get” Glen Beck
  • Moving pictures
  • Selena Gomez
  • That the main character in the original Karate Kid was clearly based on him but they just changed his name a little so they wouldn’t have to pay him royalties
  • Greedo shooting first
  • Pitch counts
  • When Kraft puts weird-shaped pasta in their mac n’ cheese
  • Loutallica


Filed under Sports Has AIDS, The Dilemma

2 responses to “Other Things That Offend Tony LaRussa

  1. Pingback: The Top 12 PCHA Comments of 2013 | Pop Culture Has AIDS

  2. Didn’t the Cardinals go on to win the World Series that year? Oh wait, yes, yes they did. A record setting late season run to get a team that no one thought had a chance after Wainwright was hurt in Spring training. Hey Dilemma, Dii-lemma, Dilemmaman, who cares about game 2. Maybe you should have waited for the series to be over. Tony La Russa = future Hall of Famer considered one of the best of all time. You = Schmuck who has done nothing for baseball and has 10,000 twitter followers. You da’ man bro! Suck it. Sincerely, your old pal Bill from St. Louis.

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