Thanksgiving’s over! You know what that means? Tebowmas! Tebowmas is here! Tim Tebow is 5-1 since taking over for Kyle Orton, y’all. Boom. This is the season we celebrate His Glory. As part of our month-long Tebowmas celebration, we’re going to dissect some obscure
Tebowmas Christmas specials from our past to see what delights they may hold.
This week…He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special! Let’s all watch, and then meet back here after the jump to discuss.
Title: He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special
Synopsis: Basically a typical He-Man episode with a few Christmas references thrown in to justify calling it a “special.” He-Man’s friend Orko…who’s Orko? This sexy motherfucker:
Anyway, the mischievous Orko somehow steals a spaceship and crash lands on Earth, where he comes across two little Earth children. The children explain the concept of Christmas to a confused Orko. The three of them get transported back to Eternia, where nobody knows what Christmas is. Skeletor’s evil boss feels a disturbance in the force because of the goodness the children and their Christmas spirit represent. He tries to capture them, and there’s a lot of convoluted back-and-forth fighting between He-Man, She-Ra and the bad guys over Orzo and the Earthlings. The good guys win when Skeletor’s icy, skeletal heart is melted by the Christmas spirit and he saves the children. Then, they all have a Christmas party and send the kids back to Earth.
Tone: Wacky, Nonsensical
Religious Subtext: If nobody knows what Christmas is on Eternia, we can presume that they don’t worship Christ. So in the Masters of the Universe world, God and Jesus must only rule over Earth, while Eternia and other planets are left to their own devices (or ruled by other gods.)
Moment Which Momentarily Broke Me: When I realized this was an hour long and not a half-hour as I’d originally assumed.
Nod to Political Correctness: The clearly Caucasian male child is named “Miguel.”
Biggest Disappointment: Skeletor is a little bitch. Even before he underwent his Scrooge/Grinch transformation, Skeletor was more of a bumbling, inept clown than the chilling, evil wraith of my memories. In the Eternia villainy pecking order, he is below something called Horde Prime, and even with something called Hordak. Never at any point did Skeletor seem like an even match for He-Man. He’s not the Joe Frazier to He-Man’s Ali….more like the Gerry Cooney. Skeletor basically played the role of the Bumble from Rudolph in this special — a bad guy completely defanged and reformed by Christmas. Also, he let this puppy lick him on the mouth.
Other Bad Guys: Aside from the above named, the following also presented a challenge for He-Man, She-Ra and the Christians: The Beastmonster, a Snowbeast, and the Monstroids — a group of evil robots who could transform into other objects. I’ll allow She-Ra’s horse, Swifty, to explain: “They’re changing into other forms! What evil robots!”
Wait, Evil Cartoon Robots That Transform…That Sounds Kind Of Familiar: I know.
Is There a Terrible Song? There is a terrible song.
Is There a Weird Mermaid With an Inexplicably Asian Accent? There is a weird mermaid with an inexplicably Asian accent.
Does Eternia Think Americans Have an Obesity Problem? Look at the kids’ father, and you tell me.
Tebow Christ Figure: He-Man and She-Ra. Their birthday is close to Christmas, and they are very nice.
That’s What She Said: “You’re trying to grab more than you can handle.” — He-Man. “So this is the pool of the Beastmonster.” – She-Ra
Most Pleasant Surprise: The off-the-charts sexual tension between He-Man and She-Ra. If they weren’t constantly calling each other “Brother” and “Sister,” you’d think they were Nick and Nora.
Classic Christmas Story Used as a Template: “A Christmas Carol” is the closest, what with Skeletor’s redemption. There’s also a lot of Rudolph in here.
The Special Summarized in a Quote: “If you really, don’t know about Christmas, we’ll tell you the whole story. A long, long time ago…” /cut to He-Man and Man-at-Arms playing with a space computer.
Moral/Lesson: The goodness of the Christmas spirit can work magic.
How This Applies to Tim Tebow: Tim Tebow loves Jesus so much that he can make his crappy Broncos teammates less crappy. Eric Decker is the Skeletor in this scenario.