Tebowmas is Ruined

I got my first Tebowmas card yesterday, even though it’s not even December. David Simon Cowell is always so prompt about such things!

I flipped the envelope over, excited to see what good tidings were being sent my way from Ecuador, when I came upon something so horrifying that no only could I not open the card, but I couldn’t even contemplate having a happy Tebowmas this year.


MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY POSTAL SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What a sad, terrible day for America. Christmas is ruined. Tebowmas is ruined. The U.S. Postal Service has lost the respect and integrity it built over two centuries of service and 11 seasons of Cliff Clavin.

Sure, give PETA some stamps. Promote vegetarianism. Go for it. It’s a good cause. But please get that monster off my Tebowmas cards.

A short list of people who deserve U.S. postage stamps ahead of Morrissey:

Liam Gallagher

Zhou Enlai

Vic Tayback

bin Laden

Nikki Sixx

John Clayton


Either of the Pet Shop Boys

The Soy Bomb Guy


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Filed under Music Has AIDS, The Dilemma

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