2011: The Year in (More) Lists

Well, we’ve counted down our favorite films, TV shows and music of the year, but some loose ends still need tying. Let’s look back at 2011 one final time, and look at how pop culture did in its ongoing battle against the ravaging effects of the AIDS virus.

More lists! You know you love them.

The Dilemma

Most Subtle Uses of Product Placement:

1) Homeland. Sgt. Brody to supermarket checkout clerk: “What is this…this Vitamin Water?” Clerk: “It’s good! It’s like flavored water!”
2) Crazy, Stupid Love. Steve Carrell’s friend: “Sorry, I’m late. I had to stop at Macy’s to pick up a gift.”
3) Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. (2-hour long BMW and Apple commercial).

Best Individual TV Episodes of the Year:

1) Breaking Bad/Face Off
2) Community/Remedial Chaos Theory
3) Friday Night Lights/Always
4) It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia/Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games
5) Boardwalk Empire/To the Lost

Best Concerts I Attended:

1) TV on the Radio/SXSW
2) Titus Andronicus/Reggie’s
3) Charles Bradley/Subterranean
4) Wild Flag/Empty Bottle
5) We Were Promised Jetpacks/Metro

Trends of the Year

1) New albums of Beard Rock that are beloved by critics and indie kids, and that I can’t fully get into because they’re kind of boring (Bon Iver, Fleet Foxes, My Morning Jacket, etc.)
2) TV Series using their final episodes to set up the next season instead of wrapping up the current one.
3) Steven Spielberg becoming the worst.

TV Lines of the Year:

1) “There are like zero dicks in there.” — Elevator girl on Louie
2) “I am the one who knocks.” — Walter on Breaking Bad
3) “Can you walk? Then get the fuck out of here and don’t ever come back.” — Jesse on Breaking Bad
4) “I got a daughter. She’s an angel. My wife — her ankles got thick,  but I love her anyway.” — Manny on Boardwalk Empire
5) “If only there were a word that describes the joy I get from your misfortune” – German Nick Kroll on Community

David Simon Cowell

Most Memorable (i.e. crazy) Republican Candidates:

1) Herman Cain
2) Michelle Bachmann
3) Newt Gingrich

Most Forgettable (i.e. boring) Republican Candidates:

1) Tim Pawlenty
2) Jon Huntsman
3) Mitt Romney

Action Movies That Were Made Vastly Better By Seeing Them In A Foreign Language I Don’t Completely Follow, Therefore Eliminating Stupid Plot Twists and Dialogue:

1) Transformers 3
2) Mission Impossible 4
3) Thor

Shows I Still Can’t Believe Sucked Me In:

1) The Killing
2) The X Factor
3) Jersey Shore

Pop Culture Events I’m Least Looking Forward To In 2012:

1) The Hunger Games movie
2) Beyonce’s baby watch
3) The End of the World

The Dilemma

Public Entertainments at Which I Fell Asleep This Year:

1) The Adventures of Tintin
2) A mid-August Cubs/Reds game

Most Memorable Sports Moments of the Year:

1) Game 162, baseball’s regular season
2) Game 6, World Series
3) 5th Set, U.S. Open Djokovic/Federer Final
4) Macho Man Randy Savage Dying

Pitchforkiest Pitchfork Quotes of the Year:

1) “Among other things, ‘Video Games’ is Del Rey’s withering critique of the dehumanizing desires and stunted emotional capacities of men.”
2) “Out of a generation and an upbringing that insists on the unique specialness of every single person, Pecknold asks whether freedom might not, after all, be about more than rugged individualism.”
3) “In Shabazz Palaces, Butler enacts the union of these opposites– words as action, action into words– and it’s no exaggeration to call this transmutation what it is: magic.”

Best Opening Credits Sequence of the Year:

1) The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Worst Opening Credits Sequence of the Year:

1) Homeland

Most Heroic Horse of the Year:

1) War Horse

David Simon Cowell

2011 Deaths That Bummed Me Out:

1) Steve Jobs
2) Vaclav Havel
3) Jani Lane

2011 Deaths I Didn’t Care About At All:

1) Kim Jong-il
2) Muammar Gadaffi
3) Amy Winehouse

Favorite 2011 College Bowls:

1) Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl St. Petersburg
2) San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
3) Famous Idaho Potato Bowl

Favorite 2012 Bowls:

1) Taxslayer.Com Gator Bowl
2) GoDaddy.Com Bowl
3) Allstate BCS National Championship

Most Heartbreaking Breakups of 2011:

1) Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris
2) Kim Kardashian And Kris Humphries
3) Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer


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Filed under David Simon Cowell, Film Has AIDS, Music Has AIDS, Politics Has AIDS, Sports Has AIDS, Television Has AIDS, The Dilemma

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