A Jets Fan Reacts Politely to the Tim Tebow Trade

Oh, come the fuck on.

I’ve lived through James Dolan and Isiah Thomas.

I’ve lived through the Yankees acquiring Wade Boggs, Roger Clemens, Randy Johnson, Alex Rodriguez, and other assorted scoundrels.

I’ve lived through Brett Fucking Favre.

But this…

This…

This might be too much to bear.

In the immortal words of Evita, “What happens now? Where am I going to?”

This is the single most antagonistic thing the Jets could have done to me as a fan. Mike Tannenbaum and Rex Ryan could have burned a pile of Wesley Walker and Freeman McNeil jerseys at midfield and then sworn allegiance to the Patriots, and I wouldn’t be this upset.

Here’s the thing: it’s not just that I fucking loathe Tim Tebow and all the media nitwits who worship at his altar. It’s not just that the thought of that self-righteous cock in a Jets uniform sickens me. It’s not just that every single Jets game is now going to be mired in a wasteland of Tebow discussion. It’s not just that the joy of rooting against Tebow is gone. It’s not just that I want to tear off my own skin. Forget the sturm und drang associated with Tebow for a second (not easy, I know).

It’s that this is a terrible move from a football perspective.

The Jets gave up a fourth-round pick, and traded down from a sixth to a seventh, to get a guy they think can play Brad Smith’s role in the Wildcat and on special teams. Except he’s not fast, and not as skilled a runner as Smith. And the Wildcat is a minor, overrated part of modern offenses.

Meanwhile, the Jets created an instant quarterback controversy, no matter how much allegiance they swear to Mark Sanchize. Remember what happened to Kyle Orton in Denver last year? Orton (who is a better quarterback than Sanchez) got off to a rough start and Denver fans howled for Tebow’s unique brand of Jesus-aided wobble passes until Denver acquiesced and implanted the holy one as their QB1. The same exact fucking thing is going to happen in New York.

Fans are already discontented with the Sanchize after his dismal 2011. And fans are stupid, so they think that because Tebow somehow “led” the Broncos to the playoffs that he’s a winner and a capable quarterback. He’s neither. He’s just a shitty football player who lived through some incredible luck last year in a small sample size.

The Jets have spent the last few months (years?) seemingly obsessed with the Sanchize’s state of mind. They placated him with a contract extension. They reassure him with soothing words. They treat him like a stupid, insecure child. And now they’ve undone all of that by guaranteeing that the New York Post will be screaming for Tebow by Week 2.

The past season showed that the Jets have a fair number of weaknesses that need addressing: offensive line, pass coverage at safety, receiver, and maybe starting QB. Not high on the off-season to-do list? Getting a backup quarterback who’s so terrible he’ll certainly be a downgrade from Sanchize while still creating a distracting and pointless QB debate.

How could a franchise whose short- and long-term outlook seemed so positive just eight months ago be in this much disarray?

Fucking idiots.

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1 Comment

Filed under Sports Has AIDS, The Dilemma

One response to “A Jets Fan Reacts Politely to the Tim Tebow Trade

  1. ScoobyDude

    Bronco fan here. And not a Tebow fan.

    You’re going to have a nightmare season. The circus is absurd.

    You said, “Orton (who is a better quarterback than Sanchez) got off to a rough start and Denver fans howled for Tebow’s unique brand of Jesus-aided wobble passes until Denver acquiesced and implanted the holy one as their QB1.” Sorry to tell you, but that’s not exactly what happened. What happened was that on Day 1 of Broncos Training Camp, 10,000 Tebow “fans” showed up and booed Kyle Orton when he walked on to the field. In other words, rough start not required.

    The Jets just got about 10 million new fans nationwide, none of whom care more about the Jets winning than Tebow playing (though to a man they agree that Tebow playing and the Jets winning are one and the same). And they will try to hijack your beloved franchise, as if they’ve been 40-year fans.

    I do have to disagree with you on one point, though. You said, “Forget the sturm und drang associated with Tebow for a second (not easy, I know). It’s that this is a terrible move from a football perspective.” Not true. Tebow is the most effective gadget player in the NFL, and would have a place on any eam if not for his fans. He’s an instictive runner whose ballcarrying skills translated to the NFL worlds better than I thought they would. The Tebow Wildcat is a genuinely dangerous thing in the Red Zone. I wanted to dislike him personally, as a player, and as a QB. Turns out, after getting to know a bit more about him, he is actually a likable person and player (but not a QB). It is, in fact, the sturm and drang that will make you hate him, and hate having him on your club. The sturm and drang is intolerable. The behavior of the Tebow Crazy Train headed your way is attrocious.

    Good Luck, and thanks for the 4th round pick. We’ll treat it with care.

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