A Guide to Coping for Yankees Fans

This has been a dark week at Pop Culture Has AIDS headquarters. And a bad time for ACLs.

Just a few days ago, David Simon Cowell was stuck a blow when Derrick Rose landed weird on a drive and tore up his knee, ending any legitimate hope for DSC’s beloved Bulls and putting at least a hint of doubt into the inverse about the future of a 23-year-old superstar.

And now, the great Mariano Rivera has suffered a nearly identical injury while shagging fly balls during batting practice. The injury ends what would surely have been the 42-year-old Rivera’s final season. We don’t know if this will now compel him to come back next year, but if not, it’s a brutal, heartbreaking way to see his career end.

So, yeah, the lights are out at PCHA Inc. DSC and I have ritually slashed each other’s ACLs with a pocketknife, and now we’re sitting side by side, slumped against a wall in our shared office, bleeding out.

Since I happen to have the laptop resting on my good knee at the moment, we’ll discuss Rivera first.

I truly don’t care how the loss of Rivera will affect the Yankees’ season. That seems trivial now. This is bigger than that. This is the worst I’ve felt as a sports fan since the 2001 World Series, and maybe worse than that.

I can’t claim that I have all the answers, but this is how I’ve been dealing with Rivera’s injury. Maybe some other Yankees fans out there will find something to help them on this dark day:

1) Listening to “Nightswimming” on repeat while I daydream about the first time I ever saw Rivera pitch in person — Game 2 of the 1995 ALDS.

2) Watching all of Rivera’s blown saves on video to try to neutralize the pain.

3) Cutting.

4) Tossing myself fly balls and trying to land just how Rivera did, over and over again.

5) Putting on headphones, strapping myself to a wooden chair so I can’t move, and listening to Suzyn Waldman’s voice at deafening levels.

6) Pleading with Dave Righetti to try a comeback.

7) So. Much. Bible.

I have more to say about Mo’s injury over here.

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Filed under Sports Has AIDS, The Dilemma

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