The Conversation: A One-Act Play

We always knew the Official PCHA Endorsement was a powerful tool; that’s why we wield it with caution and prudence. But yesterday, we finally came out in favor of Barack Obama and you guys killed it! Way to get out the vote, loyal PCHA readers. We did it!

As a reward for your victorious efforts, we’re going to release the transcript of the conversation that occurred when the above picture was taken, which we got our hands on through back-channel sources.

Bruce Springsteen: Hello, Mr. President!

Barack Obama: Bruce! So glad you could make it. And please, call me Barack.

Bruce Springsteen: So what’s the plan for today? After we speak, are we going to try to get out the vote? I’m happy to make phone calls or travel to polling places…whatever you need.

Barack Obama: All in good time. First, I wanted to chat with you about something.

Bruce Springsteen: Of course. Anything, sir.

Barack Obama: I watched the Hurricane Sandy tribute the other night, and I was a little surprised by your song choice. I’m just curious what compelled you to go with “Land of Hope and Dreams.”

Bruce Springsteen: Well, I’m honored that you watched my performance. I just thought that, in some fashion, it was important to play a song about optimism and hope for the future. Those people down on the Shore, and all along the Eastern Seaboard, have it pretty rough right now. But I want them to know that they’re not alone and that they will get through this. What I love about your presidency, sir, is the respect you have for the sometimes forgotten American dream — the real American dream that says that no matter who you are, you have a right to…

Barack Obama: Right, right, right. But Land of Hope and Dreams? Don’t get me wrong: great song. Love it. I don’t know, maybe I’m just a little sick of it after hearing it on every commercial for the baseball playoffs. I mean, “this TRAIN…” is just playing on a loop in my head right now, y’know? But more to the point, I was thinking you might play “Jersey Girl” or maybe even “Sandy.” What a treat that would have been.

Bruce Springsteen: I didn’t really think “Sandy” was appropriate given the circumstances…

Barack Obama: It would have been really cool if you’d played something off of Tracks. Or a b-side. Or maybe even an unreleased song for the hardcore fans. Or “Prove It All Night” with the ’78 Intro! Oh man, that would have been bad-ass. Just some shredding guitar solos when everyone was expecting an acoustic dirge about recovery.

Bruce Springsteen: Well, sure, that would have been a way to go. Anyway, how are the campaign’s internal polls looking in Ohio? I’m wondering where we might best use our resources to…

Barack Obama: How come you haven’t been playing much off Darkness on this tour?

Bruce Springsteen: Well, sir, I…

Jay-Z: Hey Mr. President, Bruce, what’s up?

Bruce Springsteen: How’s it going?

Barack Obama: Hova! So glad to have you here. You’re an integral part of the campaign.

Jay-Z: Yeah, about that. I wanted to ask you: are you you sure you want me here? I mean, when I got the invitation, I got a plane right away because when your president calls, you come. And I support you fully, but is this really the best image for the reelection effort?

Barack Obama: What do you mean?

Jay-Z: You do know I stabbed a guy, right?

Barack Obama: What? No, you didn’t! “Not guilty/y’all got to feel me,” right?

Jay-Z: No, I totally stabbed him.

Bruce Springsteen: It’s true. He did.

Barack Obama: That’s OK. Water under the bridge. What matters now is that we’re here, together.

Jay-Z: I wanted to talk to you a little bit about your policy for sunsetting the Bush tax extensions…

Bruce Springsteen: And I’d love a minute to talk about your exit strategy for Afghanistan. We have a lot of brave young…

Barack Obama: Later, guys! There’ll be time for all that later. All that matters now is that we take our new posse out on the road. Hova, The Boss and Barry O-Bombs. Boom. The women of Columbus won’t know what hit them!

Bruce Springsteen: Sir?

Barack Obama: Let’s find a karaoke bar! Is Beyoncé around?

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Filed under Politics Has AIDS, The Dilemma

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