The Top 20 PCHA Comments of 2012

Pop Culture Has AIDS isn’t a lecture. It isn’t a monologue. It’s not a polemic or a soliloquy. It’s a conversation.

This blog is as much yours as it is ours, and you guys are what makes this a great place to live, work and write. You are the reason we do this. David Simon Cowell and I like to say that we have the best commenters on the Internet, and we often spend our limited time together poring through the comments section, letting you spark discussions and ideas and the best kind of intellectual fulfillment.

This is your time to shine. We turn the spotlight to you for the very best comments of the year on Pop Culture Has AIDS. Take a bow, you beautiful creatures. You’ve earned it.

This year, because our commentariat fucking BROUGHT IT, we’re splitting up the best comments of the year into two divisions: General and Billy Beane’s Daughter. We’ll start off with the General Division:

10. hell ya shes a dumb cunt she makes every body look bad just for having her around — from Gypsie (response to Who Knew? I Heart I.C.P.)

9. hey nicolas cage i love you i love you.
you were born january 7 1964 in long beach california,
your real name is nicolas kim cappola
you changed your last name to cage because your favorite superhero was luke cage.
idont see why you wouldnt like him he is as cool as ghost rider
i love ghost rider one and rwo but i would perfere is the first ghost rider were darker like the second one you are my favorite actor of all time and i cant wait to show your talent to my children when im older and you have inspired me to become and actor if only i wereable to see all your movies
i hope your favorite type of music is rock cause i love rock
and i also hope your favorite color is black no i am not goth
i love all animals i dont do so well in school
I LOVE YOU NICOLAS CAGE AND FOREEVER I WILL — from Nicholas Cage 1964 (response to A Conversation with 1996 Nicholas Cage)

8. who wrote this garbage !!!! Your retarded. — from Anonymous (response to French Open Analysis from Rafael Nadal)

7. michael young is half mexican you dumb shit. — from Anonoymous (response to Texas Rangers Demystification Day: Michael Young)

6. Excuse my language, but you’re an ignorant piece of shit. — from Zauhirah Tipu (response to Wait? Radical Muslims Are Pro-Gay Marriage Now?)

5. fuck you asshole — from Anonymous (response to Texas Rangers Demystification Day: Nolan Ryan)

4. no relationship is without its problems. you probably would love for rafa to get rid of uncle toni so that another coach can potentially share all rafa’s secrets and strategies with other players and coaches. no other coach will be able to enforce the structure and discipline that has been a driving force behind the enormity of rafa’s success — from Panama (response to Your 2012 U.S. Open Preview with Rafael Nadal)

3. Aghast another moron who thinks he knows something. I’m guessing you voted for that bigger that pretends to be president. Your just mad because you could never amount to anything in life so you hide behind your computer and cut others down. I’m William g to bet if Nolan was in your face you wouldn’t have balls enough to say it to his face. So on behalf of Texas the greatest state in the US, GO FUCK YOYRSELF YOU WHINING YANKEE BITCH. — from Taylor Austin (response to Texas Rangers Demystification Day: Nolan Ryan)

2. I have a few questions for you after reading your rant:

1. Why are you a moron? Are you stupid on purpose or it’s someting you were born with?

2. When did you realized you were gay?

3. Can I have sex with you — from Ady (response to The Terence Winter of my Discontent)

1. best of wishes to mr.schwarzenegger. — from Anonymous (response to Other Upcoming Arnold Schwarzenegger Sequels)

…and now for the main event, the best comments of the year, Billy Beane’s Daughter Division!!! Oh, you guys, the competition in this division was so fierce this year that I had to cheat and create a three-way tie for 10th place, AND I still left out comments from someone telling me to move out of mother’s basement AND someone telling me to read The Great Gatsby and other classic literature to learn why Billy Beane’s Daughter is such a great character. What a year!

10 (tie). “The Joker” is not the worst song ever written. Perhaps when you’re old enough to grow some peaches you’ll understand. — from Anonymous (response to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter Finally Defends Herself)

10 (tie). You’re a douche. — from Anonymous (response to An Open Letter to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter in Moneyball)

10 (tie). Your a fucking idiot — from Anonymous (response to An Open Letter to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter in Moneyball)

9. Dilema, or pyscho with way too much time . I’m sorry I came across your Pyschopathic rant…. Please shut up and stop your serial killer urges! Wow ! Wtf did your parents do to you? Do everyone a favor and keep your psycho babble to your mom you live with or murdered 10 years ago but still talk to her and keep in your room, considering you’ve never had sex with anyone alive — from Stephanie (response to An Open Letter to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter in Moneyball)

8. Typical shithole answer for a mental pygmy. Umm…errrr……you’re stupid. There, now we’re communicating at your level.

It’s become painfully obvious to God and everyone that you’re nothing more than a sad little man still living in your mama’s basement, communicating to the world that scares you through this magic box. You sit surfing porn in your skid marked tighty whiteys and a pizza stained Air Supply muscle tee. You lash out at fake characters in movies, especially little girls as you have issues, which explains the ankle monitor you wear.

Maybe one day you will grow up, pull your head out of your ass and realize your bizarre rantings serve no other purpose than to hide that you were picked on since the day you entered primary school. Now begone, cum guzzling cunt bucket. — from Anonymous (response to An Open Letter to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter in Moneyball)

7. I agree that you played a great part in the movie. Boo Hoo to the people who were unable to grasp that. — from Carol Eve Moon (response to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter Finally Defends Herself)

6. SERIOUSLY?! She is a child actress && she did an Amazing job in this movie! You must be some sort of pshyco!
How can you say so many rude comments about this girl I’m sure you have never met! All she did was follow her script.
And she wasn’t the one who wrote that song you dirty halfbread!
Lay off a lil 10 yr old
Don’t you have something better to do — from Fallon (response to An Open Letter to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter in Moneyball)

5. You should die. — from Anonymous (response to An Open Letter to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter in Moneyball)

4. WOW! Been a while since I have seen such stupidity! How ruthless and heartless can you be! You need help! How do you wake up and look at yourself in the mirror? PATHETIC! You make me sick. — from Amanda (response to An Open Letter to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter in Moneyball)

3. The Dilemma is a hurt soul. Focus on improving yourself. Try to understand how you affect others with your deleterious comments if you truly want what’s best for everyone. — from The Dude (response to An Open Letter to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter in Moneyba

2. To the author of this post:
I don’t hate you, but I recognize you as an ignorant, arrogant fool. Billy listens to the song because he’s contemplating moving AWAY from his daughter to work for the Boston Red Sox. It absolutely fits the film and makes perfect sense. Maybe you’ll marry one day. Maybe you’l have kids. And then this will make sens to you. Until then you cannot understand because you don’t love anyone more than you love yourself…. — from Anonymous (response to An Open Letter to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter in Moneyball)

1. Guess what sunshine, most popular movies have at least some sappiness in them because…. Most people like sappiness! Most people are not as cynical as you are. You probably don’t have children either, so you can’t find anything in the father/daughter relationship to relate to. I understand what you’re trying to say in your critique, but for you too be that annoyed this much by this little girl character in a movie shows more of problem with you than with the movie. You’re a negative person and that probably holds you back in life. — from Joe (response to An Open Letter to Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter in Moneyball)

To be honest with you, those last few comments really got to me. So I did something this year that I thought I would never do: I had a kid. I told Mrs. Dilemma that some PCHA commenters were advising me to have a child because it might change my outlook on the movie Moneyball and possibly other things. She was down with it, so we had a baby. All thanks to you!

So, as new fathers tend to do, I’ve done a lot of thinking, a lot of soul-searching and a little reflecting. Mostly about Billy Beane’s Fake Daughter in the movie Moneyball. And what I’ve learned is this:

Nope. She’s still terrible. My feelings haven’t changed at all with time or with new fatherhood. She’s one of cinema’s greatest monsters. Sorry, you guys. I tried.


1 Comment

Filed under Internet Has AIDS, The Dilemma

One response to “The Top 20 PCHA Comments of 2012

  1. Musky Canadian

    “You’re a negative person and that probably holds you back in life.”


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