Author Archives: David Simon Cowell

About David Simon Cowell

The demon spawn of Omar Little and Kelly Clarkson, David Simon Cowell roams the Internet, looking for items to spark joy and/or outrage in his beloved readers.

The 2013 Oscars Live Blog

As our readers know all too well, we can disappear without a trace like white bin Ladens. But if there’s anything sure to bring P.C.H.A. back to life, it’s the Oscars. The self-importance, the musical numbers, the dresses… how can we resist? So, live(ish), from two different continents, here’s the chat you’ve all been waiting for. Ladies and gentlemen, your hosts, David Simon Cowell and The Dilemma!

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2 Idiots Discuss: 2012 In Movies

We’ve done music, we’ve done television, now it’s time for the Big Daddy of them all. Has David Simon Cowell caught up? Will The Dilemma name all three Channing Tatum movies? Let’s see.

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2 Idiots Discuss: The Year In Television

We’ve already tackled the year in music… now it’s time for television.

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2 Idiots Draft: The Rolling Stones 50th Anniversary Mix

In all the hoopla around The Rolling Stones 50th Anniversary Marketing Extravaganza Sell-A-Thon (copyright Richards/Jagger, all rights reserved), something may have been lost… the music. While the crass commercialism of The Stones third act now has stretched into its fourth decade (Jesus, take them), all of this tedious hype rests on a great catalog of music, the vast (vast, vast) majority of which was made in the band’s first 15 years.

Make no mistake… in pop culture’s most tedious debate (Beatles vs. Stones), P.C.H.A. is on the Stones side. Which makes every time they pop their heads out of their country estates to refill their already overflowing coffers that much more painful. But, nothing salves a wound like a fantasy draft. So, in honor of their 50th anniversary (with a remarkably stable lineup to boot), we’re going to pick 25 songs each (don’t worry… we’ll keep the commentary brief), and see who can come up with the best collection. First up: David Simon Cowell.

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The Year Of The Director

All of you P.C.H.A. devotees out there know that since our founding nearly three years (wow, time flies when you’re avoiding writing posts) the film landscape has been pretty barren. While there were some cinematic bright spots, in general they were few and far between. To wit, our Top Ten films last year included Mission Impossible:Ghost Protocol and The Adjustment Bureau; in 2010, Greenberg and Shutter Island made the list. Nothing against any of those films, but they aren’t evidence of a banner year. And it isn’t just us. The Best Picture Oscars of the P.C.H.A. era have so far gone to The King’s Speech and The Artist.

However, this year has at least offered a sense of promise that we haven’t had in some time. With a few exceptions (Martin Scorsese and Spike Jonze come to mind), most of today’s best known and most interesting directors have released films in 2012 (or will in the next six weeks). Throughout the year, we’ve at least been able to look forward to seeing top-notch talent add to their oeuvre.

So how’ve they done (and what do we have to still look forward to)? Let’s take a look.

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Stupid-Ass Comment Of The Day

Forget about silly ol’ Barack Obama.  Myanmar (the country formerly known as Burma) has a much more exciting guest on the way.  On the heels of the first visit by a U.S. President, they will host their first outdoor concert by an international star.  And, since the stage is at the base of a Buddhist religious site, who else could it be besides Jason Mraz (OK, I guess it could also be Jack Johnson)?

Don’t worry, human rights advocates, the show is sponsored by MTV EXIT (said by Politico to raises awareness about human trafficking, although where Jersey Shore in Italy fits into that isn’t addressed).  And it’s clear that Mr. Mraz has a good handle on modern slavery.

“I thought this was something that was abolished when Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, but all it did is become hidden from our view.”

Oh, Jason.  Although thanks for serving as a good illustration of U.S. myopia.  And also for throwing in some solid business advice.

“There was a recent estimate that there are about 27 million people enslaved on the planet, certainly due to hard economic times not just in the Western world but certainly in Third World countries. Humans as a commodity is a great way to run your business.”

Thanks, bro.  We’ll keep that in mind.

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2 Idiots Discuss: The Dark Knight Trilogy

2012 will be remembered as the end. No, not of time as the Mayans predicted (we think), but of the most beloved, hyped, self-important, entertaining and influential comic book film trilogy ever, the Chris Nolan Batman series. From reruns of the campy ’60s television series, to the revelation of the Tim Burton films, to the abortion of the Joel Shumacher films, to the resurgence of the Nolan trilogy, Batman has been a part of Pop Culture for as long as P.C.H.A. can remember. And, even if the movie studio tries to cram a Spiderman-esque reboot down our throats, it’s likely it’ll be another generation before we see another original film take on the Dark Knight.

So, we thought we’d take stock of the Nolan trilogy, both on its own merits and on its place in the legacy of the most popular superhero of all time (suck it, Superman).

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