Tag Archives: Grantland

Grantland’s Headline Writers Need a Break

  • Borussia Dortmund’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Season
  • Eddie Murphy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Opening Weekend
  • Nicki Minaj and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Appropriation of Nazi Imagery
  • The Blame Game: Why Alexander Needs to Accept Responsibility For His Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Trust me, I’m recommending this break from a place of love and understanding.

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Filed under Internet Has AIDS, The Dilemma

2 Idiots Debate: The End of the World as We Know It?

What happens when David Simon Cowell and I emerged from our recent hibernation to discuss the lazy abomination that is Grantland’s obituary for the very much alive David Bowie?

Some misunderstandings!

Some fighting!

Some laffs!

Some navel-gazing!

One person who adores David Bowie and one person who doesn’t really have a dog in that race!

We use the word “inarguable” a surprisingly high number of times, given that we are in the midst of an argument!

And David Simon Cowell writes more words for this blog than he has in the last year combined! Who can fucking resist that?

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Filed under David Simon Cowell, Internet Has AIDS, The Dilemma

The Scary Statistical Strawman

Well, it took about three weeks for Grantland to publish its first anti-sabermetrics piece. How did that fare compared to the over/under? Did Bill and Cousin Sal make a wager?

And like nearly every anti-sabermetrics piece to come before it, this one is built almost entirely around a strawman argument.

Take it away with your sub-Gladwellian thinkpiece bullshit, Jonah Lehrer:

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Filed under Sports Has AIDS, The Dilemma

The Seven Most Oppressive Sentences From Grantland’s First 24 Hours

Bill Simmons’s long-awaited Grantland project limped into existence yesterday, and the Internet responded with a disappointed shrug. Common complaints: the lackluster design, the dearth of content, and the Wallace-aping footnotes. To me, what stands out so far is the terrible fucking writing.

I was a little excited for Grantland because, while I’ve come to hate most of Simmons’s written output (and God knows Klosterman’s a clown), he did put together an intriguing stable of writers and contributors: Ken Tremendous, Dave Eggers, Chris Jones, Katie Baker, the Masked Man, Bill Barnwell, and more.

But the evidence so far shows that throwing off the censoring yoke of ESPN’s corporate overlords hasn’t freed Grantland’s writers to express personality, profanity and subversion, as hoped. Rather, they’re apparently now free to write the most pretentious sentences and passages since the O.G. (Original Grantland) was vomiting all over newsprint.

To wit:

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Filed under Internet Has AIDS, Sports Has AIDS, The Dilemma